Noble Intentions

Life’s little joys seem to pass so soon
Days only lived by the light of the moon
My memories so fresh, so cruel
My thoughts and feelings around my feet are strewn.

Too many years without formal rule
Unhappy memories of a joyous school
My pain did I myself create
Drowning always in my own blood’s pool

For years now I’ve stood behind the gate
Staring head on at my inevitable fate
Why I made myself so sad
And forced myself to not love or hate.

I know the things I did were bad
Never wanting the love I had
I know I hurt you, I know, I know
But years of loneliness drove me mad.

Alone again, so soon
after the storm.
Another full rotation, of blessed
seasons unblessed.

Unanswered questions loom
like tear filled clouds.
Only this time, answers slip
so easy of my tongue.

Cold and lonely, yet
warm and loved.
Spiritually high, yet forever
rebellious.

Dark nights and
vicious cycles.
Long days of
unlived lies…